You’re Automatic To Me: A Tokio Hotel Fan-Fic

[Stasya ♥]

We walked back to the hotel, hand in hand and me wearing his jacket. I was so relieved that Bill had finally told me the truth and felt happier than I had been in years. What was it about this guy that made me feel so different than I was before I met him or the others? What was it about him that made me feel special, like someone that mattered? I didn’t care as long as I was with him.
“You know, Tom is going to be pissed.” Bill looked at me, his eyes slightly worried.
I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “I know but, if he really loves me like you think he does, I think he’ll be happy… Eventually, at least.” I chuckled nervously and images of possible outcomes began to flash through my head.
“You know, you can stay in the room I’ve been staying in the past few days until we get things sorted out, if you want to. I can confront him and you don’t even have to be there.” His voice told me that he’d rather me be there but would do it alone if that’s what I wanted.
“I’d like to stay with you, there’s no questioning that, but I think we should both tell Tomi.” I squeezed his hand a little and smiled. “Let’s hurry so I can get my stuff before Tom gets back.”
“Good idea.” Bill grinned and the two of us ran down the sidewalk until we got to the hotel when we slowed to a jog. “Where is he anyway? I didn’t think he would let you leave his sight without him.”
“He went to go eat. I’m guessing Gustav and Georg went with him but I don’t know for sure.” That reminded me that I should’ve checked my phone since Tom had more likely than not sent me a text or called.
Bill looked at me. ”Why didn’t you go?”
I bit my lip and shrugged. “I wasn’t hungry. And that was when I got your text. I wanted to see you more than I wanted to eat.” I squeaked and grabbed his arm, stopping in front of a building. “Can we?! I think we have time.” I looked at Bill, widening my eyes and pouting.
Bill laughed and shrugged, “I guess so.” We walked into the Starbucks; I was almost skipping with delight.
After getting our drinks, we sat at a table. I decided then and there tha this would be our thing, Starbucks. Afterall, if it weren’t for Starbucks, I would never have met Bill or Tom or Gustav or Georg.
“Are you nervous about telling him?”
I looked up and Bill and thought about it. I was sure Tom would understand; besides, at least we would all know Bill was okay now. Of course, he would probably be mad about the situation. “I don’t know, actually. Of all the things I’m worried about with talking to him about it is that I could be hurting him.”
Bill nodded. “Understandable. I wonder if maybe we should get Georg and Gustav for back up.”
I tilted my head, “Who do you think they would be behind on this?”
Bill exhaled sharply. “I think Gustav would back you and me up. Georg, however... I’m not sure. He’s some-what Tom’s ‘partner’ and yet I think he would want you to be happy. He could be on the fence about it.”
We finished our drinks in a quickly and in silence, thinking the situation over. We headed back to the hotel in a rush to both get my stuff before Tom got back and to be out of the cold that was beginning to come with the night. The two of us walked into the elevator, punching the button to go up to the floor my stuff was on.
“I hope he isn’t back yet...” Bill sighed, shaking his head. He didn’t seem like he fully wanted to this, for reasons I could guess.
As the elevator slowly traveled toward our first destination, I thought about what Skye would think when I told him about today. Of course, I was 75% sure my cousin would find him and talk to him about at least what he had been around for. Then I thought about mom and Shawn; I knew they would both be furious and I wanted to see the look on their faces when they found out.
Bill and I walked out of the elevator to the room he and Tom had first shared. I opened the door and we started gathering my things up. I had two bags I had to take since Tom had insisted upon buying me new clothes since what I owned wasn’t exactly up to his standards. We took my first bag up to Bill’s room and I quickly memorized my new room number, so I wouldn’t get lost. Walking to his room felt really familiar, like the number of doors and hallways passed and everything. “Your room is right above Tom’s,” I said, realizing why it felt familiar.
“Really?” Bill didn’t seem to believe me but he thought about it for a minute before he laughed and nodded. “I guess you’re right! I didn’t notice that.”
We dropped off my bag and headed back down for the other. As we waited for the elevator to go down, I checked my phone.
“Three new messages”
“Hey Mandy!! Come see me 2mo or you will have a very depressed brother. Do you want a depressed brother? Aub wants to see you too. =P xox”
I snickered and looked at my foot. I had taken the brace off right after we had gotten back from the last time I saw him and the crutches were sitting in Tom’s room. My foot still hurt a little but not as bad anymore. I check one of the other messages.
“You bitch! Last week you said you were gonna help me with my room this weekend and you haven’t confirmed. This weekend is tomorrow! TEXT ME BACK! Love brad.” I probably wouldn’t be able to help Brad now. Or I just would rather be with the guys since they were leaving on Monday.
“We’re on our way back. See you soon! XOXOXO”
The last one was from Tom sent shortly before Bill and I got back to the hotel. I looked up as the elevator doors opened and me and Bill headed back towards Tom’s room. “I think we should hurry… I have a text from Tom saying they’re on their way. And I got it about fifteen minutes ago.”
Oops, too late. Looking through the open door of the room, we saw Tom walking out of the bedroom; his face looked slightly confused.
“There you are! I was wondering why you didn’t text me back and one of your bags was gone. What’s going on, Ma-“
Bill stepped into Tom’s view, smiling sheepishly. He grabbed my hand and we walked into the room, shutting the door behind us. “Hallo, Tom. Erm, I think we should talk...”
Tom seemed like he didn’t know what to think. His eyes flashed briefly to our clasped hands and he nodded. “I think I agree, Bill.”

[Stasya ♥]

I couldn’t understand a word the twins were saying since they were talking in German but I could certainly feel the tension in their voices. Tom was on the brink of snapping completely; his eyes were closed, his jaws were clenched, his hands were in tight fists. Bill was doing good though, he sounded more calm but still on edge. I think he was ready for Tom to start screaming.
“Tom, I know you want what’s best for me and for me to be happy so please don’t make a big deal out of this. I love your brother,” I injected as Tom’s voice to a sharp stab at hostile. Of course, German sounded a little bit hostile anyway; unless it was Bill using it, that is.
Tom grit his teeth and stood up. He walked over to the door and opened it. “Gehen Sie hinaus. Jetzt.” He looked at me, holding the door stiffly.
I looked at Bill for translation but I had a pretty good idea what Tom had said.
“’Get out. Now.’” Bill translated, looking at Tom like he was disgusted and annoyed with the lack of manners.
I slid out of the chair I had been sitting in and grabbed my last bag, leaving the room. Tom slammed the door the millisecond I was out, making me yelp. I walked down the hall a little bit before I heard yelling in German. I quickened my pace and took the stairs back up to the room since they came up closer to it than the elevator. As soon as I was outside the door to the suite, I realized I didn’t have a key. I could still hear the twins fighting. I sat down with my back against the door and put my ear buds in, hoping to drown out their yelling.
[ BILL’S POV ]
“Tom, I think you’re being irrational,” I said shortly after Amanda left the room.
“Irrational? IRRATIONAL?! Ich kann Ihnen nicht glauben! Sie sind ein Lügner! Entweder Sie lagen zu ihr bevor und sagen die Wahrheit jetzt, oder Sie liegen noch zu ihr, weil Sie sie vor mir schützen möchten,” Tom barked at me.
I shrank back for a minute, Tom was right. I had lied. I had taken her from him. But Gustav’s words echoed in my head again: “Man up! Don’t be such a wimp!”
I stood up. “Ich sprach nicht die Wahrheit am Anfang, weil ich weiß, dass Sie lieben ihr. Aber.... Ich liebe sie, auch, Tom, und sie liebt mich. Warum ist es so falsch für mich zu haben liebe für einmal?”
“’Warum ist es so falsh für mich zu haben liebe für einmal?’ Es ist so falsch, weil Sie Ihre Wahrscheinlichkeit hatten und nichts taten, Bill!” Tom glared; he was pissed and that truly scared me; I had never seen him so mad before. “Sie sind ein Feigling.”
Again, he was right. I was a coward. “I’m fighting you for her. I never fight you like this for anything. Doesn’t that make you realize just how big this is to me?”
[ END POV ; TOM’S POV ]
His face was sincere, he did truly love her. But he gave up his right to be with her when he told her he didn’t love her before! Was I just supposed to give up my well deserved chance because he made a dumbass decision? Part of me said it was the right thing since Bill was my brother, but the other part of me said it would be unfair to just give up my chance with Amanda so he could make up for his screw up.
“Bitte, Tom, bitte. Ich liebe ihr. Ich tue wirklich.” Bill looked down at the ground for a minute. “I really don’t want you to be against this.”
I stood motionless, two equal parts of me clashing to the death. “Get out,” I finally said, putting my head in my hands with annoyance. I would let him think he won this, at least until I could come up with a plan or make up my mind on what to do. “You don’t deserve her. You made the dumbass decision to let her go and now you want me to give up my chance for you?” I looked at him.
“I know that what I’m asking of you is completely unfair. I know I don’t deserve her. But how do you know you really like her? How do you know you don’t just want to get her in bed?”
I grunted. “You were gone for three days. You have no idea what went on while you were gone, maybe I already did.” I watched the blood drain from his face before I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t fuck her, okay? I could’ve, there were so many chances for me to just do it. But that is the proof that I really like her and don’t want only one thing from her, that is all anyone should need from me to know how much they mean to me. If you want to be a man and fight me for her then you’re in way over your head.” I stood up and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
[ END POV ; BILL’S POV ]
I stood in Tom’s suite, staring at the bedroom door. I sighed; this wasn’t over. It wouldn’t be over until Amanda broke him, hurt him, tore him. And that would kill him. Until then, Tom would do everything in his power to steal her back away from me. I headed back to my room.
I stepped out of the elevator and saw Amanda sitting against the door, banging the back of her head against it while singing. As I got closer, I realized she had her eyes closed, headphones in, and her music was blaring. I sat on my feet in front of her, just listening to her sing and the music play even thought it was barely audible to me. I didn’t like that she was banging the back of her head against the door to the beat but I didn’t want to make her stop in case she would stop singing. After a while of listening to her sing, I reached over a grabbed her hand.
She jumped and her eyes snapped open, her singing stopping abruptly. “Don’t scare me like that!” She put her hand over her heart, chest heaving. “God, you about gave me a heart attack...”
I held onto her hand. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t like watching you bang you head against the door like that; though it took me a while to convince myself to stop you since I was afraid this would happen.”
She titled her head curiously and I had to laugh. She was just too cute.
“I was afraid you would stop singing,” I explained.
“Ohh. So, uhm, who did things go with Tom?” She looked at the ground.
I shrugged. “He isn’t happy. He says it’s unfair of me to ask him to give up his chance when I blew mine. He does really like you; I know this because he’s done something for you he hasn’t done for many girls that have come into his life.”
“And what’s that?”
I was silent for a minute. “He didn’t have sex with you.” I reared my head, hearing the relief and embarrassment in my own voice. I smirked as she turned cherry red. “And if I know Tom, this isn’t over to him. He’s going to do everything he can to get you back and the only way he’ll stop is if you totally convince him that you don’t love him.” I looked at her thoughtful face.
“And I would I do that?” She didn’t sound like she would be happy with what I had to tell her, she sounded like she already knew the answer. Maybe she had gotten to know Tom a lot better than I originally thought.
“You have to break him. You have to get it into his head that you don’t love him. It will be the only way to get him to finally accept where the chips have fallen but it will kill him on the inside...”
[ END POV ]

[Stasya ♥]

I bit my lip. If I broke Tom, severely hurt him... If he suffered, I couldn’t live with myself; especially if I had been my fault. “I can’t do that, Bill. I can’t hurt him. But I can’t have him be mad at you either!” I put my head in my hands and huffed in frustration. I felt the tears welling in my eyes and my throat feeling tight. Ugh, first all I wanted was Bill to like me so everything would be easier but now that I knew, everything was just harder. And Skye didn’t even know yet! What would he think of me loving a... How old was Bill? I realized I didn’t know how old any of the guys were. They knew I was 16 but I didn’t know how old they were. I sighed, suddenly exhausted. Today had been too long and I was glad the next day was Saturday.
“Come on, let’s go inside.” Bill helped me up and opened the door, grabbing my bag and taking it into the room as well.
“I’m going to bed,” I muttered, stumbling towards the bedroom in hopes that this room had the same layout as Tom’s. I opened the door I came to and frowned with a slight whine; it was the bathroom.
Bill stifled a laugh and walked over to me, turning me 180 degrees to face a door across the room. “That’s the bedroom.”
“Shut up,” I said, tone bemused, as I tried to walk with dignity to the bedroom. I shut the door behind me and lay in the bed before realizing I was still in my outfit for the day.
The door opened and something landed on my face. “You may want these,” Bill said, not even bothering to hide his laugh.
I grabbed my pajamas and got out of the bed. “Shut up!” I laughed. I kicked my shoes off and stripped of my clothes, putting my pajamas on. I crawled under the blankets once more and curled into a ball, snuggling again the pillow. It was only 8’o’clock and I hadn’t eaten since the single piece of toast I had for breakfast before school, but my fatigue outweighed my hunger for the moment. I closed my eyes and sighed.
The bed shifted and seconds later I was being pulled toward Bill. I opened my eyes and looked at him, smiling sleepily.
“Hallo,” he grinned. “I’m just going to tell you that you look completely adorable when you just wake up.” He snuggled his face into my hair.
I giggled, glancing at the clock. I did a double take, my jaw dropping. “It’s midnight?! It only feels like I’ve just laid down!” Pain shot through my stomach and it growled.
“Shh! I think there’s a bear in here...” Bill snickered and sat up. “Room service?”
I nodded, sitting up next to him. “It might be best.” I leaned back against the headboard as Bill called room service. I was still tired but not as tired as I had been earlier.
While I waited, I tried to imagine the different reactions Skye would have when I saw him. I knew he’d either be extremely happy for me or very tentative... Or so I hoped.
[ FF TO MORNING ]
I sat at the bar in the kitchen humming along to the Tokio Hotel CD Bill had put in the CD player. It was their other English album, Scream. “Bill, why did you guys decide to change your sound?” I called since he was in the bathroom getting ready.
“We thought it would be fun and interesting to try something new. We’d had the same sound for around six years.”
I shrugged; it made sense. “I like the old sound better but if you could find a balance between the two then I would love it.” I giggled as Bill stuck his tongue out at me. “There just isn’t much guitar or bass in your new sound, that’s all!” I turned to my phone and reply to yet another text from Skye.
“Are you guys leaving soon!!!”
I sent my reply and continued to wait. “Bill, can I ask you some-what of a personal question?”
Bill looked at me from the corner of his eye. “....Ja.”
“How old are you guys? I mean you, Tom, Gustav, and Georg.”
“Georg is 22, Gustav is 21, and Tomi and I just 20 a couple months ago.” His voice sounded hesitant, like he didn’t want to tell me.
I inhaled sharply. I was expecting him to say that he and Tom were 18 or even 19 but not 20. “Oh...” He was too old for me; my birthday was only in a couple more weeks and I would only be turning 17. It wouldn’t technically be legal for me to be seeing him for another year; at least, not without the approval of a legal guardian. My mom and Shawn would never approve of me being happy, though, so that was a lost cause.
I looked down as my phone buzzed.
“Do you have any plans for today?”
It was from Tom. ‘Let the games begin,’ I thought morbidly.
“Kind of. Why?”
“Are you ready to go?” Bill asked, stepping out of the bathroom and pulling on a jacket.
“Mhm. Can I ask you something else?” I pulled on my own jacket and walked over to him.
“Sure.”
“What if Skye doesn’t approve of this whole thing? I’m a minor and you’re at least three years older than me, at most four years.”
We walked out into the hall and to the elevator. “I guess we’ll just have to try and convince him to approve of it then. Do you think he won’t approve?”
“I don’t know. He might but I know he’ll at least be partial about it. You’re a huge rockstar and you don’t even live in America.” I shrugged. My phone buzzed and I read the new text.
“With Bill? Nevermind. Where are you going?”
The feeling of him stalking me came over me again, and I shuddered.
[ FF TO ARRIVAL AT THE MIKKEL’S ]
Skye ran out the door and tackle-hugged me. “I’ve missed you!”
“Can’t breathe! Lungs... BURNING!” I flailed and clawed at Skye’s arms until he let go of me. I gasped air and glowered at Skye, “I thought you missed me, not you wanted to kill me!” I stood up and Skye hugged me a little more civilly. “Where are Aubrey and Olivia?”
“They had to go shopping with Laura. Where are Tom and Georg and Gustav?” Skye lead me and Bill into the house.
“Back at the hotel,” I replied. “Is Anthony here?”
Skye nodded and opened his mouth before Mr. Mikkel walked out.
“Guten tag, Amanda! And this must be... Bill?” He looked at Skye as he nodded. “Well, Bill, I am Anthony Mikkel, Aubrey’s dad. I guess you could also call me Skye and Amanda’s dad too since I’ve known these two scamps since they were born.” He laughed.
Bill smiled. “Hallo. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Mikkel.”
I hugged Anthony then looked at Skye. “I kind of need to talk to you. Like now.” I bit my lip nervously.
Skye nodded slowly and followed me out to the front porch. We sat on the swing and he looked at me. “What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you. About Bill.” I avoided looking at my brother.
“Okay. Let’s talk then. What about him?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “He told me something yesterday. Something big.” I opened my eyes and looked at Skye, “He told me he loved me.”
[ SKYE’S POV ]
Oh dang, did she say what I think she said? I kind of expected he did but whoa... “Oookaay...?”
“Skye, he said that! He flat out said it after I hadn’t seen him for three days!” She was some-what frustrated by my lack of reaction, I could tell.
“Do you love him?”
She pursed her lips, trying to hold back the smile that shone clearly. “Yeah.” She blushed deep red.
“Then what do we need to talk about?” I laughed and shrugged, turning to face her and putting one of my legs up on the swing.
“Aah, uhm, he’s about three years older than me.” She looked at her hands.
That made him 19 or 20; younger than me. It was a bit of a problem since she was a minor and didn’t have the okay of mom or Shawn. But I also saw other problems. “Amanda, you’re kind of setting yourself up for disaster. He’s a celebrity, just think about all their girls that are probably all over him all.the.time. Also, he doesn’t live anywhere near here and he tours the world so you wouldn’t see him very often. And, even though it’s only three years, I’m sure he had much more experience in relationships than you and I don’t want that getting you into trouble. I’m sure you know what I mean by that.” I didn’t want my baby sister getting pregnant with some guy’s kid when he couldn’t even be around. Not to mention mom and Shawn would hunt him down and kill him; after they killed her and me, first, that is. “Are you sure you want to take all these risks?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Skye, I’ve finally found someone who, as soon as I see him, my heart races; I’ve found the one that can say my name and I smile. His very presence makes everything okay. Skye, for once I’m happy; when was the last time you saw me happy?” She looked at me with a smile, eyes brimming.
I hadn’t seen her that happy since she was very small. “I know you’re happy now but think of the different situations he could be put in. Some of those situations could really hurt you, and I don’t want to see that happen.” I also didn’t want to keep her from being happy but I had to protect her. “Also, you know you’re a minor and mom would never approve of it.”
“We have to think of something Skye. We just have to!” She looked ready to cry.
I didn’t like the situation. My innocent little sister going out with some rockstar and she needed my help to make it okay. “Okay,” I said hesitantly. “Just don’t make him your everything; if you do, you’ll be left with nothing if something happens.” I stoop up and walked inside; I had to call a lawyer.

[Stasya ♥]

Could I really do this? The evidence was on my side and there was no way I wouldn’t be able to, but it was the aftermath I was worried about. “Anthony, do you know any good lawyers? I probably can’t afford one but I have to try.” I smirked as I saw Bill so pale. “Chill out, this is to help you two. “ The smirk disappeared, “Even though I don’t fully like the idea... Amanda’s got it in her head you two will be completely inseparable and she’s your everything.”
“We are and she is,” Bill murmured, eyes on the floor and cheeks turning bright red.
“I do know a good lawyer, actually,” Anthony said, chuckling at the young boy. “Why do you need one?”
I glanced an Anthony and he instantly knew why.
[ END POV ]
I stood in the yard, just breathing to cold air, hoping it would make me feel a little less jittery. Skye took the news well but I made me nervous with how he left it. He didn’t sound like he wanted it to work but he didn’t want it not to work.
“AMANDA,” Olivia called, quickening her pace toward the house. She was quick enough; Aubrey ran over, dropping the grocery bags, and tackle hugged me. “Hey, get off of her you child molester,” Oliva laughed, kicking him lightly in the ribs.
I burst out laughing. “Ew, Olivia. He’s like my brother, too. And thank you so much for putting an unwanted image in my head.” I got to my feet and helped Aubrey up.
“Where’s your foot brace?” Aubrey looked at me suspiciously as I hugged Olivia.
I stifled a laugh. “At the hotel. I, uh... I, erm, forgot to put it back on after my shower this morning. My foot feels much better, though.” I smiled innocently.
“I bet you didn’t even wear it for two days,” Aubrey said, rolling his eyes. He picked the grocery bags back up and the three of us walked back into the house, laughing.
[ FF TWO DAYS ]
I held onto Bill’s arm tightly, both of us sitting on the couch watching television. It wouldn’t be long before he would have to leave to fly back to Germany.
“Do you really have to go?” I muttered, for probably the millionth time.
Bill chuckled under his breath. “Yeah, I do. But I have a proposal for you.” He muted the television and turned to face me. “After maybe a week or two, when we get back into the groove of touring, we’ll fly you and Skye out to stay with us for a while. Okay?”
“Two weeks? Three days felt like torture and now you want me do go four times as long?” I pouted. “Besides, what if you meet someone else? You said it only took you five minutes with me to fall head over heels, so what could happen,” I paused to do the math, ”20,160 minutes without me? And over winter break none-the-less...”
Bill raised his pierced brow and laughed. “Don’t worry, 20,160 minutes will feel like a million years without you. Like I said before, ‘if you’re really in love, you don't care about all the other girls that are standing in line for you. You don't want another night with any person. You just want her.’ I was saying that about you before I ever met you.” He quickly squeezed my hand and smiled, making my breath catch in my throat.
When I could finally think straight and talk again, I knew I had to think of another reason he should stay. “Okay, fine, but where am I supposed to go now? I know you said it might be best if I stay with Skye at Aubrey’s but Shawn and Melody know where he is and they’re probably just waiting for you guys to leave and I have to go there and...” I trailed off, the images in my head to terrifying to say. “And don’t say I’m over-reacting because you don’t know them like I do.”
Bill inhaled deeply, thinking. “Until we’re able to fly you and Skye out, you can stay here. We’ll keep paying for the room until then.”
I sighed and hung my head. He was leaving me behind after everything; leaving me behind for two weeks. Two weeks without the four that always made me smile; 14 days of waiting; 336 hours alone; 20,160 minutes of pure torture; 1,209,600 seconds without my teddy bear.
“Don’t be sad,” he said, pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead. “The only person who should be worrying is me.”
I looked at him with curiosity. “Why would you have to be the one worrying?”
“If I’m gone, who’s going to provide as proof that someone as beautiful as you has a boyfriend?” He grinned and I felt my face getting hot. Laughing lightly, he put a hand on my cheek, “You’re so cute when you blush.”
I covered my face with my hands, feeling it get even hotter. “Shut up,” I giggled.
“Bill, are you ready to leave?” Georg called from the hall, knocking on the door.
“Ja, be right out.” Bill stood up, my hand still in his. He looked around the room to make sure he had everything before he put on a pair of sunglasses. “I guess that’s everything.” There was a hint of regret in his voice. “If only I could stuff you in a bag and bring you with me.” He smiled.
I looked into his eyes. “Why don’t you?” I sounded completely miserable; he hadn’t even left yet!
“Cheer up, liebling. I promise you that we’ll be together again soon.” Bill hugged me tightly until Georg knocked on the door again. He quickly kissed me before grabbing his bags and heading out the door.
And he was gone. I could only trust that he would keep his promises and we would see each other soon.